God's Gift to Spandex
by skinnyrita
Summary: God's gift to Spandex is once again the focus of the Daily Prophet's weekly exclusive, but there are more people's feeling at stake than his own. Oneshot.


**God's Gift to Spandex**

**1: God's gift to Spandex.**

Lois Lane raised her head dejectedly off her desk as the morning chaos that was Clark bumbled his way over to her desk, successfully felling a new coat stand.

"Hi Clark."

"M-morning, Lo-Lois, what's wrong?" asked Clark, bashfully righting the coat stand and tossing his hat and trench over it.

"Superman."

Clark shrugged and slouched into his chair, taking up the meagre contents of his in-tray to scan over. "_Him_ again."

Lois wailed irritably and dropped her head onto her arms again. Her muffled voice mumbled indignantly, "Perry wants me to do an exposé on him." Clark dropped his mail under his chair and faffed about for it.

"Ex-exposé?" he asked, pausing under his desk, desperately wondering how his alter ego could let his colleague down without getting her into trouble with the Chief. An exposé was the last thing he really wanted right now after his prolonged stint in the hospital. No one apart from Lois had seen Superman since, and he had been hoping to have a week out of the limelight, concentrating on the more controllable life of a Daily Planet reporter. Lois made a funny groaning noise then sat up with her hands over her face. "You don't think he'll do it?" asked Clark, recovering the letters and looking over at her.

"_He_ won't do it? No, _I_ don't want to do it! Perry seems to think I'm his personal press agent. Yes, most women do think of Superman as God's gift to Spandex, but not this reporter!"

"God's gift to Spandex?" said Clark, adjusting his glasses, "Gee, Lois, is that really what you think of that guy?"

"No, no _not me_, Clark, you know I have absolutely _nothing_ to do with Superman. It's other women who want to know about him. Besides, I don't think Richard will thank his uncle for trying to push all this unwanted press on me again." She glanced around at the office trying to look at the two men in question who were starting to raise their voices in the head office, just as the door closed on them. "Tuh!" she stood up angrily and checked her watch. It was still only a little past nine A.M, and she had a whole long day of worrying to get through. "Clark, I'm going to get some air, cover for me will you?"

"Oh, sure thing Lois," said Clark cheerfully, glancing at her as his fingers were already flying across his keyboard trying to get a dull article out of the way. Clark watched her through his computer screen as she left the office, extending his x-ray vision to see her into the elevator, where she started fishing about for her cigarettes. He sighed and focused again on the screen. The article he was finishing was just a quick piece he'd got lumped with about travel statistics. Checking no one in the bustling office was paying much attention to him, he let his fingers become a blur as he completed the report.

On the roof, Lois was wondering without too much hope whether she would see 'God's gift to Spandex' today. She suspected not. A day after the hospital bed was discovered empty, a note had reportedly been placed upon it, equally as abruptly, expressing gratitude for all the attention and efforts that had been made to revive the hero who had left it. Since then, the world had heard nothing of the man. Excepting herself. 'I'm always around…' tuh. What was that supposed to mean?

She had had a disturbingly good dream that night involving a lot of ripping off clothes and rippling muscles, which she suspected had absolutely no connection to Richard.

Lois crushed the butt of her cigarette under her shoe and returned to the newsroom.

"Lane, Kent! Get in here!"

"Uh, Ch-Chief, here's that, er, travel doc you wanted."

"That's great Kent," said Perry distractedly, tossing the proffered article onto his desk and crying out, "Olsen, Olsen, where are you boy? I've got a cover with no pictures!" He stubbed his cigar vigorously on the side of his ashtray and shouted, "Lane, where's my cover story? Headline: "Superman Lives Through Horrific Ordeal, an interview by Lois Lane". I want this paper getting the exclusive. …_Well_?"

"But Chief, I don't want to do-"

"Kent! Where's Superman?"

"Uh, gee Chief, how should I know?" stuttered Clark pinkly, fumbling around with his tie.

"You kids always know where he is. One step ahead of the news… _Olsen_! What am I paying that boy for?" a little spit escaped the corner of Perry's mouth and attached itself to his nephew's lapel. "Lois, get me something on Superman."

"But…"

"Richard, get out of my office. I want Kent to interview you about the boat incident. A first-hand experience. What was going through your mind? Why did you go back for Superman? How do you respond to international tabloids referring to you as 'the next "Super-man" in a young reporter's love life'? Go!"

"Um, Chief?"

"Go, go, _go_! Come on people we've got a paper to run that says 'exclusive' all over it. Lane, find Superman, I want you to try and get something on him tonight. Work out some questions and take Olsen, I want pictures, I want 'Superman saved my life', I want 'I saved _his_ life', I want you to find Olsen now before I fire his ass!" He pushed them all out of the office and back into the hub of the newsroom, blinking indignantly at the now closed door.

**2: Interview –Clark Kent talks to Richard White.**

"Ah, so, um," Clark re-adjusted his tape-recorder so that the mike was more squarely between himself and Richard.

"Look, no offence Clark, but can we get on with this? I'm not happy with Perry right now." Clark registered Richard's folded arms and cleared his throat.

"Uh, okay but you should know that the Chief …edited… some of the questions."

"Great."

"Um, okay." Clark snapped on the recorder. "Clark Kent of the Daily Planet interviews Richard White regarding the events of the twenty-seventh May. So, um Mr White," he swallowed, Perry's idea was to chuck in a nasty right from the off, to help the interview along, "h-how did you feel when on a mission to save your only son and your f-fiancé, acclaimed reporter Lois Lane, from the hands of infamous criminal mastermind Lex Luthor, you in fact ended up all three saved from drowning by no other than Superman, a man previously linked ro-romantically to, uh, said fiancé?"

Clark grimaced sheepishly at Richard, who was looking hard-set. "Ahem, well I'd have to say that I only felt relief at Superman's appearance, given that had he not come to get us we would certainly all have drowned, and take this opportunity to extend publicly my gratitude towards him." Smooth, thought Clark, very smooth. "As for your underlying question regarding any romantic attachments Lois might have had, I would treat Superman like anyone else she has been linked to in the past: as past. Any link of that nature, if indeed there ever was one, must have ended nearly six years ago, and in case you haven't noticed, it is me she's actually engaged to."

"Er, right," said Clark, fidgeting with his sheet of questions and crossing off two of them, "Mr White, why did you return for Superman after he reportedly left a small plane being piloted by yourself, in order to pervert the course of action being taken by infamous criminal Lex Luthor?"

"I –Lois wanted to."

"Lois?" asked Clark, surreptitiously leaning closer.

"Yes, Lois had been on the boat, and knew that Luthor was experimenting with Kryptonite, I'm not sure how he was doing so, and so she insisted that we return for Superman in case he was fatally affected." Clark shifted; this was the first time he was getting the full story. True, it wasn't coming from the person he had hoped it would, but at least it was coming. "But, I mean, he did save all our lives. It would have been pretty poor of us not to lend support in turn if it was required."

Clark took a breath and ploughed on –was there nothing not to like in Richard White? Despite himself, he was beginning to admire Lois' choice.

"What do you make of tabloid allegations suggesting that such a choice from Miss Lane, to re-enter into such a dangerous situation, must be coherent with claims from the international press that the love is alive and well again between your fiancé and Superman?"

Richard gave Clark a hard look. Clark, who was beginning to feel guilty about the pain his interview was clearly causing the man in the middle, shrugged apologetically and mouthed "Perry."

Richard cleared his throat. "Well I would say that Lois is a woman with outstanding morals, a strong sense of justice and an unconditional attachment to her friends, and that those are qualities which make me love her so much. Given those traits it would be inevitable that she would have wanted us to do all in our power to save Superman, who is not only a friend to our family, but someone depended on by vast numbers of people internationally."

"Uhm, and the allegations of a relationship recurring between Superman and Miss Lane?"

"This is a private issue which I do not wish to be under discussion in the world's press. All I can say is that I have asked Lois myself of her attachments and she has assured me that she never was and is not in love or in any way romantically linked to Superman. I believe this statement, and will offer no further comment on such allegations, other than to say that Superman is currently considered as a friend by both of us, and that such bad press seeking to jeopardise relations between us and any of our friends will be held in disgust."

Clark skimmed his pad and crossed some more notes, then said, "I think we've pretty much covered most of the questions, just one more to finish - How do you respond to international tabloids referring to you as 'the next Super-man' in Miss Lane's life?"

"I'm flattered."

"Richard White, thank you." And stop recording. Clark flicked off the recorder, making sure that Richard could see that it was really off, and sat back in his chair, feeling hollow with guilt. "Gee, Richard I'm sorry I had to get that assignment. Anything I write I'll run by you before Chief sees it."

"It's okay, but thanks Clark. You wanna hide out here for a bit until Perry starts yelling for us?"

"Sure… so um, how are things with you? Those were some pretty neat answers."

"Yeah, well you think of things to tell people. Listen Clark, you've known Lois for a long time, right?"

"Uh, about ten years or so, I guess, maybe more, I never really thought about it."

"Were you two ever… _involved_?"

"Y-you mean, romantically?" Richard nodded in the affirmative. "Gee Richard…"

"It's okay, Clark."

"Well jeepers Richard, I sure don't know… I never know with Lois. At one point maybe we did go on a few dates, but she never really said that they were _date_ dates…"

"Clark, it's okay to tell me if you were. I want to ask you something. You know her better than anyone, except maybe Jimmy and I can't ask him this: when you knew her, how far infatuated was she with Superman?"

Clark eyed the doorway. It was nearer to Richard. "Supe-Superman?" Richard looked at him. "Well we covered quite a lot of stories on him… she gets herself into quite a lot of scrapes, you know, at least she did back then. He did a lot of saving her. Stands to reason she'd get to know a little about him after all the interviews she gave… are you worried about Superman?"

"Was she ever intimate with him?"

"Now, Richard…" Clark floundered like a fish out of water.

"I am concerned about Lois, Clark. She's not the woman I knew since Superman's return. She gets all these… these _far-away_ looks, like she's worrying about someone, and I know who it is! She says that she loves me and that all this suspicion is in my head, but how can I trust her when every time a damn plane passes over she's spraining her neck to see if it's him?"

Richard was becoming agitated and was perched on the edge of his chair. Clark regarded him quietly, aghast –was this what his reappearance had done to the couple's relationship? Despite his private elation at the confirmation of Lois' continuing regard for him, it truly pained him to see the other man in such a state. He forced himself to look calmly and frankly at Lois' fiancé: "If Lois says that she loves you and not Superman, I think you'll have to trust her morally and take her at word, Richard –if I know Lois, I know that terms of love are not ones that she throws around lightly." He shook Richard's shoulder in a bracing fashion, "come on, Perry's starting to bellow for us out there."

As he dumbly watched his co-worker exit the interrogation room, Richard realised that that had been the most articulate piece Clark had ever said to him.

**3: Interview –Lois Lane talks to Superman. **

Lois glanced back through the French doors, and into the interior of the lounge. Richard had graciously taken Jason out for the evening, but she still kept feeling as though his suspicious nature had taken form. Her skin prickled. She felt observed.

Jimmy ambled out of the kitchen, cradling a large mug of coffee. "Hey Lois, any sign yet?" he asked cheerfully, squinting past her at the darkening sky as he joined her on the terrace. He glanced at her, probably about to suggest she put something a bit more appealing on, and deciding against it.

Lois sighed and muttered, "No, I don't think he's going to turn up, why would he? It's not like there's a signal or something."

"Don't think who's going to turn up?"

"Well Super-" Lois paused and turned sharply at the deep voice that definitely wasn't Jimmy's. The photographer set his mug on the picnic table and went back into the house to collect his camera and lenses. Lois stared at Superman.

"I saw Clark before," he said, helpfully.

"Oh."

"He tells me you're being badgered into getting a scoop on me."

"Where've you been?"

"Around. Recuperating."

"Oh. Sorry," Lois whispered, trembling as the cloaked hero stepped a little further across the patio. He paused and regarded her silently, before glancing into the lounge where Jimmy could be seen fitting bits of kit together. He smiled ruefully. It was a very homely place. He was systematically ruining it, without even meaning to. Their relationship needed to become businesslike again.

"Well Miss Lane," he said warmly, eyes kind but resigned, "you're not looking the best dresses for this weather. What say we get set up with Jimmy and I'll do my best to get you your interview?"

Lois breathed a sigh, this time of relief. "That would be great," she said, gesturing, "Please, go on through. I'll get us all some fresh coffee."

**The End.**


End file.
